Gender: Male
Age: 35-40
Presenting problem: Anger and Low Self Esteem
Treatment modality: BWRT
Number of sessions: 1
P had always suffered with a lack of self-esteem but he hid it well, developing a range of strategies over the years which has enabled him to live what most people would call a successful life.
What P did not realise, until it was seemingly too late, is that on those occasions when he thought he was coping well, his wife and children were often fearful of bearing the brunt of his short fuse, outbursts of a burning anger which he couldn’t always control. Despite repeated requests from his wife to get help he has always dismissed her pleas as unnecessary.
But, suddenly, she has declared that she is leaving him.
His wife’s announcement is a seismic shock to the system and the fallout clears the way for P to see that he’s been burying his head in the sand for the greater part of his adult years.
With his life in bits and his self-esteem on the floor, he finally asks for help.
During our consultation P talks about his difficult childhood and how he feels an all-consuming anger at the family that rejected him. He is especially scathing of his mother, whose controlling ways led her to constantly criticise P, leaving him with a sense of never feeling good enough which ran into his very core.
In more recent times, he has cut contact with his family to the bare, obligatory minimum, exhausting his sense of duty to just about making an effort at weddings, funerals and the occasional Christmas.
Now, acknowledging that his family is never going to change or listen to him, P understands that the only things within his control are his own reactions. He is especially sure that he can never forgive his mother for what she has said and done.
We talk about how the act of forgiveness can be cathartic for some but that it isn’t a prerequisite when seeking to alter our emotional responses to those who have wronged us.
Faced with a choice of continuing to suffer a raging anger within, manifesting in the explosive temper that has devastated his life, or reaching an acceptance of what has gone but cannot be changed, P chooses the latter.
Discussing the shift in his emotional state at the end of our first session, P’s pursed lips contribute to the look of resignation on his face as he stares at the floor, gently shaking his head from side to side. When he looks up, he shrugs and says that he can only feel sorry for his family, at their stubborn inability to recognise what they have done. At his mother’s own unhappiness. And that none of that is ever going to change.
Although there is a long road of reparation ahead with his wife and children – and we have more to do to restore his self-esteem – P says he is ready to walk forwards, certain in the knowledge that he has left his past behind.
If you would like help for anger and low self esteem, take the first step and book your free consultation, today.
