Age: 20 – 30
Presenting problem: Therapy for Low Self Esteem
Treatment modality: Advanced Level BWRT®
Number of sessions: 6
At the consultation the client described himself as ‘rubbish’ at everything he tried to succeed at; whenever he felt he was near to succeeding he would tell himself that he would fail. His self-sabotaging behaviour was the result of many years of believing he was ‘no good’, which would cause his mood to become low and his self-doubt to rise, so that his many failures to succeed became a perpetual self-fulfilling prophecy.
During this session it became clear that part of this self-sabotaging behaviour was the setting of unrealistic, unattainable goals: the client would compare himself to very successful people he admired and set out to achieve the same. However, he would immediately aim for the pinnacle and not allow for the simple truism that those highly successful people he wanted to emulate would have had to overcome obstacles and set-backs along the way.
The consultation also revealed that the client had been badly bullied during his school years, and had continued to be the victim of bullying in the workplace. In addition, he only allowed a few, select friends, to get close to him, and he admitted to becoming easily jealous in several trigger-situations, which would adversely affect his mood.
The first two working sessions used BrainWorking Recursive Therapy for low self esteem to deal with the emotions attached to the bullying at school, the current bullying from a work colleague, and his jealousy.
By the third session the client reported that the difficult emotions attached to his memories of school had gone, and he no longer had any jealous feelings. In fact, he had experienced a typical jealousy-inducing trigger scenario during the preceding week but had not reacted in his usual way. Instead, he had simply ignored the trigger and carried on with what he was doing – his exact preferred way of being.
After discussing his progress, we commenced the first of four sessions at Advanced Level BWRT to work on the negative core-identity. The client’s stated goal was to change the way he felt about himself. Specifically, to turn self-loathing and doubt into self-belief and confidence.
During the weeks of Advanced Level BWRT the client began to experience many changes. In the workplace, for example, the bullying had stopped. It is generally accepted that we cannot change someone else’s behaviour. However, when caught up in a dysfunctional relationship we can sometimes enforce change in others by changing our own behaviour. In this situation, the client had ceased to react to the bully, effectively disempowering him. Although the client reported that the bully changed tactics, at first, the bullying stopped when the perpetrator realised that his intended victim was no longer going to react.*
At the same time, the client said he had started to see things he hadn’t noticed before, such as new opportunities he had been missing. And it wasn’t just him: other people were also noticing the changes, commenting that he seemed different somehow, more confident, quite literally walking taller.
By the final session of Advanced Level BWRT, the client stated that he no longer had any self-attacking thoughts or any feelings of self-loathing, and was doing things he would not normally have done. What’s more, not only had he completely transformed his image by buying an entirely new wardrobe – so that he presented to the world a new, smarter, more confident person who evidently believed in himself – but he had made several important steps towards achieving a new personal goal he had set for himself: this time, a realistic, attainable goal, with not a hint of self-doubt.
*A month after therapy for low self esteem ended, the client reported that, whatever had been driving the workplace bully to target him, had resurfaced to the extent that the perpetrator was now openly shouting at him. This was the final straw for the client and he had decided to look for a new job. This coincided with the new life-goals he had set for himself and his new-found confidence. At the time of writing, the client has three job interviews lined up, all of which he states he is feeling relaxed, confident and excited about.
If you are looking for therapy for low self esteem, take the first step and book your free consultation, today