Presenting problem: Humiliation and a Cheating Husband.
Treatment modality: BWRT®
Number of sessions: 1
M had recently split from her second husband and needed help for divorce problems, knowing that she was struggling to come to terms with events. Her first husband, who she described as the love of her life, had cheated on her and it was several years before M felt able to trust anyone again.
She fell in love with her second husband unexpectedly and quickly married him, despite warnings from M’s friends that he was not right for her. They went on to have a child together and were happy, for a few years.
Describing him as something of a narcissist, M nonetheless said that she had loved her new husband dearly and was determined to make this second marriage work. However, all was not well.
Their relationship began to deteriorate, with M’s husband becoming increasingly distant. She explained that he would often return home late, and sometimes stayed overnight on work trips, becoming irritable if M asked him anything about these jaunts. Recognising the warning signs, she suspected he was cheating and eventually decided to confront him.
To M’s amazement, her husband readily admitted to having an affair. But, she had not been prepared for what he told her next: her love rival was her best friend. Utterly devastated, she ended the marriage there and then.
During the session, M said she could not reconcile the knowledge that he was not worth her tears with the pain she felt in her heart. Whenever she thought about him she felt completely humiliated. Having experienced a similar pain following the end of her first marriage, she did not wish to wait for the hurt to diminish over time.
Unsurprisingly, M’s most difficult memory was the day she discovered her ex-husband’s infidelity; she wanted to feel indifferent to his revelations, knowing that he had proved her suspicions right and was not worthy of her love.
After using BWRT® to reconfigure M’s emotional response, she delightedly exclaimed that she could no longer feel the squeeze of her heart when reflecting upon that day, even when trying as hard as she might to re-trigger the feelings.
In fact, she started laughing as she described how she could now look back with a new thought of ‘what are you telling me for?!’, as she imagined brushing past him to put the kettle on, with total disinterest.
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